Turkey Confit...In a Rice Cooker!

I’m always looking for new ways to cook stuff, partly from curiosity, partly because my oven sucks. I was speaking with the chef at one of our restaurant accounts and got interested in confit. Confit, which is French so the “t” is silent for some reason (to get the pronunciation just right you should slur like you’ve just polished off a sixer of chu-hi), is an old-fashioned way to cook and preserve meat. Traditionally you salt the meat and then cook it in it’s own rendered fat, duck leg confit is a staple on the menu at most French restaurants.

Even though confit is cooking in oil, it’s different than frying, it is slow cooking at low temperatures for several hours. I’m not really good at doing anything that takes several hours, both my attention span and memory are so short that the last time I tried to make regular coffee as opposed to instant, the pot sat for two day before I remembered to turn it on. However, I am really good at chucking meat at a heat source and turning up later to see if it’s ready. It turns out that I have an appliance in my kitchen that is perfect for this sort of thing—the rice cooker!

The way a rice cooker works is that it does three basic things. First it brings the pot to a boil under pressure to capture the steam, next it holds that temperature for about 15 minutes to allow the rice to absorb the moisture, then it goes into a “warm” phase to keep it hot. So it quickly heats to 100°C, then drops down to around 50 or 60°C, hot enough to cook and kill any bacteria, but too cool to fry, perfect for confit.

I started with a nice little 7 pound turkey that I had laying around and a pulled out the timer and the plastic thing that holds the legs together, you don't want to cook these in oil.

My rice cooker is not so big so I cut it up into pieces, if you have a large enough cooker, you could do this with the whole bird, that would require a lot of oil. I broke the bird into the leg and thigh portions, wings, back, and breast. There is not much meat on the back so I threw that part into the soup pot along with one wing that wouldn’t fit.

Next I scored it so that the spice rub would penetrate into the meat, then I rubbed it all over with some of our Almighty Spice (oh so very mighty!). This bird was pre-brined so I didn't really need to do much more. If you are working with a bird that has not been brined, then you should generously rub some salt on it as well and let it sit for 10 or 20 minutes.

Pack it into the pot of the rice cooker and fill it full of olive oil. Theoretically you could use a differrent type of oil, but olive oil adds some flavor without greasiness and doesn't produce any bitter aftertastes.

Normally when cooking rice the cooker needs about 10 or 15 minutes to heat up, then it switches into warmer mode. Because I had the bowl totally filled with turkey and oil it took about an hour for it to heat up. I then got drunk, went to a nudie-bar, got kicked out, passed out on the sidewalk, got a lift home from a scooter-gang, and stumbled in to see that my rice cooker had been warming for 6 hours. You can do whatever you want while it cooks, you don't have to do what I did.

I had the munchies somethin' fierce so I pulled the turkey out of the cooker and let them rest on some racks for about 10 minutes. You need to let it rest because the turkey gets tired after all that cooking, and you should probably give yourself a little break as well. You deserve it!

After a little rest, just start carving. This bird came out perfectly done. The meat could be pulled off the bone but it wasn't flaky. It was not greasy or oily AT ALL! The herbs and spices really penetrated and the only way I could tell that it was cooked in olive oil is that the fruity flavor of the oil was infused throughout the meat. This was, by far, the best tasting turkey I've ever had! I recommend you give it a try.

GET YOUR TURKEY HERE!

Meat News! Volume 16 - Merry Meaticus! Standard disclaimer and un-subscribe info: This is a newsletter that is being sent to you because I thought you might be interested or because you requested a subscription. If you are not interested, the unsubscribe link at the bottom of the page will send us away forever. If you are not interested, have told me so but are still receiving this letter it is because my faculties have become impaired due to excessive holiday cheer. I'm fa la la sorry. If you read all the way to the bottom there is something exciting going on...

Felicitations! Merry Meaticas! That just rolls of the tongue, doesn’t it!?! And it should, because I have declared that Meaticas in the new, greatest, holiday-of-the-season, and everyone should take a moment and observe it. This time of year is getting crowded with holidays, and we are way overdue for some consolidation in the celebration industry. That is where Meaticas steps in with the power to unite the lesser holidays with its one, all encompassing tenet—outrageous, guilt-free, consumerism!(with an emphasis on the over-consumption of meat) Too often we hear how the spirit of the season has been hijacked by commercial interests, it causes us to lose site of the one thing that truly unites everyone; buying useless crap that we don’t need, makes us feel good. Sure this may seem shallow and fleeting, but, other than a tequila hangover, what isn’t fleeting? At least during the 15 days of Meaticas (that’s right, Meaticas is the longest consumption-fest ever), every time the feel-good buzz from another purchase of a case of barbecue sauce wears off, you can just buy something else, that’s personal enrichment I tell ya. Those of us here at the Meaticas Promotion Foundation are working hard to make Meaticus a fully government funded holiday. That means we can all stroke our feelings of entitlement while spending to our hearts’ consent. It will work just like a stimulus package, a stimulus for the soul. The Scrooges among us may say that such a plan would only condemn our children to pay for our excess through higher taxes. As an owner of two small children myself, I know that if I could somehow get a case of whiskey delivered to my door once a week now, with the bill sent to my kids in 15 years, I’d take it in a heart-beat. I’m sure both of us deserve it. It will teach our children a valuable lesson in fiscal responsibility fostering a “pay it backwards” feeling of good will to their elders. There are a lot of governments to win over before this dream of ours becomes a reality, so we are starting with Turkmenistan, we figure any country that once renamed bread in honor of the ruler’s mother should be an easy place to pitch Meaticas. Once we get them on board, the rest should fall, like meaty dominoes. You can start celebrating Meaticus today, all you need to get into the spirit is an order for way more meat than you could ever possibly need. And that, my fellow celebrants, is just what we provide!

12-14 Pound Turkey The standard from America, this turkey is pre-brined, all you have to do is thaw and roast. Dimensions(about):.................32X22X18cm Contains giblets:.......................Yes Pop-up timer:.............................Yes Aprox.Thaw Time:.....................3.5days Aprox.Roast Time:....................4hrs Feeds:.........................................15-17 Frozen Product ID T013 Size about 6 kg Cost 5,480 Yen Pumpkin Pie A little piece of BIG flavor - homemade pumpkin pie! I've had a lot of pumpkin pie, most of them churned out by little blue-haired old ladies who could bake up a storm, but this is really one of the best I've had. It's all-natural and perfectly balanced. This is a full-sized pie, uncut, you can get anywhere from 2 to 10 slices. If swamp-rat really did taste like this, people would be lining up around the block to try it! Frozen Product ID SW025 Size about 800gm Cost 3,060 Yen Pardy Hardy Set If you are not really so good at cooking but want to impress this set is for you! You get heaps of good stuff, none of them requiring more effort than thawing and warming but they will make your party hot, hot, hot! Smoked Turkey Drumsticks................4 sticks Margaritta Pizza......................................1 pizza Vili's Meat Pies(160gm)........................2 pies Triple Chocolate Brownies...................4 pc Gooood times..........................................lots! Frozen --- Free Shipping! Product ID SET006 Size NA Cost 4,950 Yen

Awesome 12 Hour Sale!! 12/15 22:00 to 12/16 10:00 For twelve hours only we are giving away the proverbial farm, just our way of saying Happy Meaticas! 38,000 Yen! 33% Off! You save 18,800 Yen! 9,900 Yen! 47% Off! You save 8,900 Yen! FREE TURKEY DRUMSTICKS WITH ANY PURCHASE! JUST WRITE "MEATICAS FELICIATAS" IN THE COMMENTS SECTION WHEN YOU CHECKOUT AND WE'LL GIVE YOU A PACK OF SMOKED DRUMSTICKS FOR FREE! NO STRINGS! ONE PER CUSTOMER PLEASE! Simply judging by the number of explanation marks, these must be some great deals!

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Lamb on a Spit!

Thank you James, for showing us how it's done!

Smokin' with GAS!

The Tri-tip is one of the most versatile and economical cuts we sell. The "tri" part comes from it's triangular shape (that's the shape with three sides for those of you who are geometrically challenged) and it is the very tip of the sirloin muscle, where it connects to the round. It is tender enough for steak or yaki-niku, and it has enough flavor to make a great roast or carving
piece. Smoked tri-tip is awesome, below is quick way to smoke one on a gas grill (that we sell!).

Smokin' with GAS! I have a real smoker, a nice little box that I build a charcoal fire under and slow roast briskets for hours. But when you start with a piece of meat as tender and tasty as Meyer Natural Angus tri-tip, sparking up the smoker would be a bit of an overkill. Luckily, you can smoke on a gas grill just fine, here is how you do it.

Getting Started: You need some wood chips, pretty much any home center has these for sale in a variety of flavors. I can never decide which flavor, so I just get the mix. I have a well used little metal tray that I got from 100 yen store (105yen) but you can make do with foil in a pinch. Soak the chips for about 10 minutes while you heat up the grill. Meet the Meat: This is a beautiful little tri-tip, tightly trimmed. Season it a little, you want some salt in your seasoning, this softens the proteins on the surface and makes them tacky--this helps the smoke penetrate and stick to the meat. It will come out better if you let the meat sit at room temperature for about 10 minutes before putting it on the grill. Load up the grill: Put the smoke-chips on one side and the meat on the other. Crank it up: Turn the burner that is below the wood chops up to high. I've customized my grill with a nice little "11" so that I know I've got it turned up just right, I suggest you do the same. Turn the other burner off, all the way off. Smokin'!: After about 15 minutes or so you should have smoke rolling out of the grill and things will start to smell great! I used to have this friend in college, everybody called him "Shaggy", his car looked like this most of the time... Almost there: After about 45 minutes, if you have successfully resisted the urge to peak, the tri-tip should be about ready. All the wood chips will have burned up and the meat should look cooked. If you squeeze it with some thongs it should be springy but not wobbly, like a good beer-belly. Resting: Both you and the meat deserve a little time-out. You've been watching a smoking grill and drinking beer for nearly an hour. Take 10, this will allow the beef to finish cooking and let the juices sink back into the meat. Ba-Booooom!: Now you've got one of the best pieces of meat you could hope to sink your teeth into. If this tri-tip were scotch it would be single-malt, barrel aged, 20 years old. You should have cooked more... You can get yourself a Meyers Natural Angus Tri-tip right here:

Product IDUSB250Size+/- 500 gmPrice3,250 YenApprox. cost per unit3,250 yen

This is how I cook a turkey!

How to Cheat at Turkey! Get it on the table fast with a pressure cooker. Sometimes you don't have hours to wait while your turkey roasts away in the oven. For example, maybe you were up a bit late drinking the night before, suddenly it's 11:30 and if you've got guests at 1:00! What to do???!! Well, The Meat Guy is here to tell you what to do. The example below is with our Bone-in Turkey Breast, but you can do this with any turkey small enough to fit in your pressure cooker. You know what else? You can even do this with a frozen or partially frozen bird, it will take about 75% longer to cook but it will still come out great.
Step 1: Start with a turkey, or any type of bird, best if it's been dressed and cleaned, give it a name. I named this one "Pookie Bird". Step 2: Trim the extra skin from the neck-hole and make some space between the skin and the breast meat. Step 4: Stuff as much bacon as you possibly can into the space between the skin and the meat. Why? Because bacon is good, also turkey breast meat tends to get dry because there is not fat, the bacon melts as it cooks and all that fat keeps it juicy. We sell bacon, by the way, if you try and use bacon from some other source you will probably have some BIG problems so you should only use our bacon. If you want to go a step further you could probably even stuff some lard in there, that would be good I think. Step 5: Give "Pookie Bird", or whatever you've named your fowl, a rub down with some spices. Talk to it gently, tell it that you love it. I use our not-really-so-famous Almighty Spice, you should too! Step 6: Stuff it all into a pressure cooker, if you don't have a pressure cooker, go buy one, they are awesome. Put the part with the bacon sticking up so that gravity will help with the juicy-ness. Step 7: Add a glass of wine (or any liquid really) the best thing about wine is that you can open a bottle, use one glass for "Pookie Bird", and drink the rest! You could do the same with orange juice I suppose but it wouldn't be as much fun. You only need one cup, at most two, you're not making soup. If you want to really add some flavor throw in some onions, garlic, apples, herbs, maybe some barbecue sauce--we sell barbecue sauce, by the way. My pressure cooker has two settings, "I" and "II", I don't know what they mean but, given the choice, I always turn it up to eleven, you should too! Step 4: (wine's starting to hit me, can't count) Most instructions for pressure cookers say to turn your burner on high or medium until you build up a full head of steam. Don't do it! You might suddenly notice that there's no more wine in the bottle and you need to make a run to the conbini, then there's a line, and some new chocolates they didn't have last week, and by the time you get back, it has all gone to hell. Put the fire just a bit above low and wait, once it hits steam let it got for 45 minutes to an hour, then let it cool. Poke at "Pookie Bird" a time or two, the meat should be tender enough to pull away with your fingers, if not, put the lid back on and give it another go. Now you've got a fully cooked turkey, or bone-in breast, but it's not beautiful, not yet a centerpiece. Which is why we need one more step. Step 5: "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!!" To make "Pookie Bird" ready for company, you need to brown that skin. Hooray for the blow-torch! This will work better if you pop the turkey in the oven, on high, for about 15 minutes, but you can skip that if you want to and go straight for the burn. Just take the torch and start painting the bird with flames of love. Start in a spot that's less obvious because you need to find the right distance to hold the torch so that it browns without singing, then brown away. This works better if you brush down the "Pookie" with some olive first, even better yet if you mix a little honey into your olive oil. In a couple minutes you'll have something near perfection. Step 7: Lie. Lie to everyone, tell them you've been slaving over an oven, basting and tenting and basting some more to get this pookie perfect piece of perfection. Tell them it was your grandmothers recipe, passed down to you on here death bed, tell them that grandma always turned it up to eleven in the end. Serve with gravy. (note: the final photos here don't really show how nice this bird came out, that's because the photographer was drunk)
There you have it, a 4 hour cooking job done in an hour and a half. And best of all, you get to use a BLOW TORCH!! The world would be a better place if all of life's problems could be fixed with a blow torch.
Product ID	T014
Size	about 4 Kg
Price	6,120 Yen/pc
Approx. cost per unit	6,120 yen

Meat News! Volume 15 - Pies are Back! Standard disclaimer and un-subscribe info: This is a newsletter that is being sent to you because I thought you might be interested or because you requested a subscription. If you are not interested, the unsubscribe link at the bottom of the page will send us away for ever. If you are not interested, have told me so but are still receiving this letter it is because I’m an idiot, sorry, a little too much research into wine pairings with pies.

Good News: Bad News: Great News: Meat Pies are BACK IN STOCK!! We are closed until next Monday so the soonest you can have any meat pies is next Tuesday. Meat Pies are BACK IN STOCK!! I’m just so giddy that I had to say it twice. We are now the exclusive importer in Japan for the world renowned Vili’s Pies from Australia which means you will never have to go pie-less again. Unless you want the Sausage Roll or Vegetarian You-say-pahsty-I-say-paysty Thingy, we're not going to do those for a while. If you’ve never had a Vili’s Pie, they are a treat and come in three gourmet flavors: Beef - Beefy-Beefy richness, a few vegetables for your health, all wrapped up in a crispy pie shell. We checked with our resident sommelier, Charlene (a transvestite who really doesn’t like it when you call him “Chuck” but that’s a different newsletter altogether) to come up with suitable wine pairing and he recommends a six pack of Asahi tall boys. Chicken - If you are Australian you can also call these “chook-pies” but that might be offensive in some areas. Big hunks of chicken in a white gravy. The perfect morning after pie. Chucky recommends Minato Mimosas with the chicken pie - that’s 3 parts Lemon Chu-Hi, 1 part Orange Juice Drink. If your night before the morning after was special, a couple of these warming in your toaster oven can really show a girl that you might remember her name. Beef and Mushroom – The most top-shelf pie in the line-up. Not only do these have real chunks of savory beef (you can feasibly even stretch the word “steak” a bit to include the key ingredient here) they also have mushrooms in the gravy, real mushrooms, not the plastic ones that all the other pie-makers probably put in their pies, so these are possibly healthy. We reckon that a good meal of this with some salad and maybe some bean curd or something combined with 20 laps in the pool is part of healthy diet that could see you live to be a hundred, maybe more! Charlene agrees which is why he pairs this pie with a nice box of Franzia, the pink one (hint: if you remove the wine bag from the wine box, it's much easier to conceal this in your backpack at work). We’ve even got a new party box of mini-pies (only beef for now, but the other flavors are coming soon). 16 cocktail pies, which, unlike cocktail olives, don’t do so well when dropped into a martini, but are excellent next to one. We will unfortunately be closed until August 17th for the Obon Holiday. Don’t worry, I won’t be having any fun as I’ve been told I do not deserve it and the car needs a cleaning. Go online, make your order now!

Vilis's Beef Pie The Australian standard beef pie. Frozen Product ID PI001 Size 160gm Price 400Yen/pc Cost 400yen Vili's Chicken Pie Gourmet chicken pie. Frozen Product ID P1003 Size 160gm Price 400Yen/pc Cost 400yen Vili's Beef & Mushroom Chunks of beef and mushroom. Frozen Product ID PI002 Size 160gm Price 400Yen/pc Cost 400yen

Hurry, If you order by Sunday, August 16th, and write "free nuggets" in your order, we'll throw in a free pack of Teriyaki Flavored Beef Jerky Nuggets! Meat Pies and Free Beef Jerky - that's pretty awesome.

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