Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Meat News Volume Thirteeny

Meat News 13

The Meat Guy - Happy Father's Day!

Meat News Volume 13 - Grill on Big Daddy

   It's that time of year again, that time to
recognize the BIG DADDY in your life, or soon to be daddy, or even just
someone whom you are pretty sure has the right equipment to possibly
make them a daddy sometime down the road.

This man could feasibly be a father.

For those of you who are long time subscribers you might remember that
last year we advocated getting a stripper for Father's Day. The
campaign was wildly successful, local strippers across the land did so
well that they are still well stocked with acrylic stilettos and
Windex. We are very pleased to have helped the community in this
fashion and we’ve even counted this as one of our CSR actions. It might
seem hard to believe, but his year we have come up with something even
better, gas barbecue grills.

   That’s right, gas grills can be a better Father’s Day gift
than strippers, I’m sure a quick list will demonstrate why:

• In the long run, grills are cheaper than strippers, in fact these
grills will pay for themselves! Strippers never pay for anything and
usually expect you to pay. We haven’t actually worked out the numbers
on how the grills pay for themselves but we’re sure they from an
economical standpoint they hold their own against most models of exotic
dancer. (Please note: You still have to pay for the grill upfront, it
doesn’t start to pay for itself until AFTER delivery)

• Gas grills are durable. Try leaving a stripper out on your balcony in
the rain for 6 months and see what happens.

• Our grills require assembly, and all the parts are included. While
strippers don’t normally require much assembly, they do charge extra
for some parts.

• Our grills can run on either propane tanks or gas canisters with the
purchase of our handy adaptors. There is no real stripper comparison
here, I just thought I should mention the gas canister adaptor.

• Gas grills don’t exploit women. It is a well known fact that 99% of
all strippers are enrolled in a pre-med program of some sort, but
having to pay for their schooling with pole dancing is sometimes
considered exploitative. A good gas grill on the other hand gets the
man to do the cooking and if we sell enough of them it’s feasible that
some girls could come down off the stage and get good work making
potato salad.

   So there you have it, order today and you’ll be grilling
in time for Father’s Day.

Remember, even if you don't get
your order in time for Father's Day this weekend, Eastern Orthodox
Father's Day is just two weeks away!

The Patio Grill,
full sized grilling action, 47,800 yen delivered.

The Portable Grill, take anywhere,
18,380 yen.

Cassette Adaptor, never be a slave
to the propane man again, 13,200 yen

Patio Grill

Portable Grill

Gas Cannister Adaptor