Meat News!
Volume 16 - Merry Meaticus!

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Felicitations!

Merry Meaticus

Merry
Meaticas!

That just rolls of the tongue, doesn’t it!?! And it should,
because I have declared that Meaticas in the new, greatest,
holiday-of-the-season, and everyone should take a moment and observe
it. This time of year is getting crowded with holidays, and
we are way overdue for some consolidation in the celebration
industry. That is where Meaticas steps in with the power to
unite the lesser holidays with its one, all encompassing
tenet—outrageous, guilt-free, consumerism!(with an emphasis on the
over-consumption of meat)

Too often we hear how the spirit of the season has been hijacked by
commercial interests, it causes us to lose site of the one thing that
truly unites everyone; buying useless crap that we don’t need, makes us
feel good. Sure this may seem shallow and fleeting, but,
other than a tequila hangover, what isn’t fleeting? At least
during the 15 days of Meaticas (that’s right, Meaticas is the longest
consumption-fest ever), every time the feel-good buzz from another
purchase of a case of barbecue
sauce wears off, you can just buy
something else, that’s personal enrichment I tell ya.

Those of us here at the Meaticas Promotion Foundation are working hard
to make Meaticus a fully government funded holiday. That
means we can all stroke our feelings of entitlement while spending to
our hearts’ consent. It will work just like a stimulus
package, a stimulus for the soul. The Scrooges among us may
say that such a plan would only condemn our children to pay for our
excess through higher taxes. As an owner of two small
children myself, I know that if I could somehow get a case of whiskey
delivered to my door once a week now, with the bill sent to my kids in
15
years, I’d take it in a heart-beat.
I’m sure both of
us deserve it. It will teach our children a valuable
lesson in fiscal responsibility fostering a “pay it backwards” feeling
of good will to their elders. There are a lot of governments
to win over before this dream of ours becomes a reality, so we are
starting with Turkmenistan, we figure any country that once renamed
bread in
honor of the ruler’s mother should be an easy place to pitch
Meaticas. Once we get them on board, the rest should fall,
like meaty dominoes.

You can start celebrating Meaticus today, all you need to get into the
spirit is an order for way more meat than you could ever possibly
need. And that, my fellow celebrants, is just what we
provide!

12-14
Pound Turkey

The
standard from America, this turkey is pre-brined, all you have to do is
thaw and roast.
Dimensions(about):.................32X22X18cm
Contains
giblets:.......................Yes
Pop-up
timer:.............................Yes
Aprox.Thaw
Time:.....................3.5days
Aprox.Roast
Time:....................4hrs
Feeds:.........................................15-17

Frozen

Product ID	T013
Size	about 6 kg
Cost	5,480 Yen

Pumpkin
Pie

A
little piece of BIG flavor - homemade pumpkin pie! I've had a lot of
pumpkin pie, most of them churned out by little blue-haired old ladies
who could bake up a storm, but this is really one of the best I've had.
It's all-natural and perfectly balanced. This is a full-sized pie,
uncut, you can get anywhere from 2 to 10 slices.
If swamp-rat really did taste like this, people would be lining up
around the block to try it!
Frozen

Product ID	SW025
Size	about 800gm
Cost	3,060 Yen

Pardy
Hardy Set

If
you are not really so good at cooking but want to impress this set is
for you! You get heaps of good stuff, none of them requiring more
effort than thawing and warming but they will make your party hot, hot,
hot!
Smoked Turkey Drumsticks................4 sticks
Margaritta Pizza......................................1 pizza
Vili's Meat Pies(160gm)........................2 pies
Triple Chocolate Brownies...................4 pc
Gooood times..........................................lots!
Frozen --- Free Shipping!

Product ID SET006

Size NA

Cost

4,950
Yen

Awesome 12 Hour Sale!! 12/15 22:00 to 12/16
10:00

For twelve hours only we are giving away the
proverbial farm, just our way of saying Happy Meaticas!

38,000
Yen!

33% Off!

You save

18,800 Yen!

9,900 Yen!

47% Off!

You save

8,900 Yen!

FREE TURKEY
DRUMSTICKS WITH ANY PURCHASE! JUST WRITE "MEATICAS
FELICIATAS" IN THE COMMENTS SECTION WHEN YOU CHECKOUT AND WE'LL GIVE
YOU A PACK OF SMOKED DRUMSTICKS FOR FREE! NO STRINGS! ONE PER CUSTOMER
PLEASE!